How NOT to market yourself - Lessons from Robert Stanek

http://conjugalfelicity.wikispaces.com/robertstanek

Just when you thought you'd seen it all...

So, you've been barred by those evil, elite, snotty commercial publishers that don't recognize your brilliance.

Rather than growing a clue right about there - you decide to self publish your 'epic' fantasy series. Okay, whatever you need to do to feel better...

I've heard of people putting up fake five star reviews on Amazon. How about over 200 of them?

What about claiming having won awards that don't exist? (While I've heard of that too, the sheer number this numbskull professes to blows my mind.)

You've become a legend in your own mind...what could possibly go wrong?

The wrong starts when real people get duped into buying your juvenile, unedited pile o' crap because they believed that you were an honest person, and wouldn't stoop to such bone - headed and underhanded marketing methods.

They came, they read, and now, any potential audience you may have had is PISSED. They're panning your work all over the 'net, warning off other targets.

People self publish crap all the time, no big deal. The biggie is lying about it. A bigger one is pretending to be 200 other people and lying about THAT.

Were it not for this shitstorm of audacity, this book would have died a quiet death, like its thousands of self published brethren. Many of those writers do go on to write something commercially viable - but you sir, have proven yourself unworthy of that goal.

You can't be trusted to turn in your own work, no matter how shoddy it may be.

For those of you who are interested in seeing just how bad this steaming pile is:

http://conjugalfelicity.wikispaces.com/kingdomsandelves1

Yeah.

Things like this make it really hard to buy that line about the 'evil, elitist barrier' in publishing. If 'evil' means correct word usage, and 'elitist' means proper grammar, I'm all for it. Honestly guys, if you're not getting a response, it might be time to take a look at the work. You don't want to be like this guy.

Another copyright maroon...

http://leegoldberg.typepad.com/a_writers_life/2006/04/no_hope_for_thi.html

Star Trek this time.

Here's my take on fanfiction:

While technically illegal, a bunch of 14 year olds writing about the characters they've fallen in love with (often porn*), and stretching their literary muscles (mostly with cringe inducing results), is mostly harmless.

Provided they do it on a fan fic site to share their little fantasies with other rabid fans, and bask in the glow of a similar interest.

Once said fan writer decided (usually erroneously) that they should be paid for this effort, and offer a highly illegal copy of someone else's intellectual property for financial gain, they should be gutted with a spork.

*there may be nothing on Earth unintentionally funnier than a sheltered tween's idea of how sex works.

POD done right!

http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/planet-to-planet/10296723#detailsSection

This is both an example, and a plug for my friend Mike.

He's a brilliant creature artist, having done work for games, books, etc. Since individual art books (featuring a single artist) are generally a hard sell without the name recognition of say Rockwell, Mucha, Frazetta, etc., he decided to self publish a book of drawings and sketches, marketed to fellow artists and fans.

Here's why this works:

1. Targeted, niche audience that he can reach through his own website and blog. Since I'm already familiar with Mike's work from other venues, I know how tasty those sketches are going to be.

2. I know the book is going to look good; beyond the interior, I know the cover is going to be laid out well.

3. The content is something that is of interest to that audience.

4. The price is right. While it seems high compared to something comprised primarily of text, the price point is well within the accepted range for a book of illustrations (not to be confused with an illustrated childen's book - we're talking art books here).

Copyright infringement ain't so bright either...

This is old news if you follow publishing, but it's still an amusing read.

Some dunder-head self published a Twilight fan-fic. (And argued about it being illegal!) Some interesting threads and wank from the idiot herself:

http://howpublishingreallyworks.blogspot.com/2009/03/train-wreck-now-boarding-on-platform.html

http://www.journalfen.net/community/fandom_wank/1201887.html

http://leegoldberg.typepad.com/a_writers_life/2009/03/what-its-like-to-be-delusional.html

http://daljeanis.blogspot.com/2009/03/russet-noon-analysis.html

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=136015

Rather than give up entirely, the hot mess of a 'book' is available to suffer through here:

http://www.sequel-to-breaking-dawn.com/russet-noon-english/

I was shocked when this first appeared, and appalled that it's available anywhere outside of a fan fic forum (excuse the unintentional alliteration).

Whatever one may feel about Mrs. Meyer's prose, there is absolutely no recourse for this reprehensible behavior. (Plus, this book makes Twilight read like Shakespeare in comparison.)

plagiarizing is bad, mmmkay?

http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/009448.html#009448

While it's all bad, stealing the work of a very well known writer is just stupid. Playing the 'disability' card as an excuse? Even stupider.

(I do have to admit, these car wrecks are fun to watch.)

Remember kids, an agent who charges fees is BAD. One who can only 'sell' your book to a vanity press is BAD.

Thermo - meter

This is just what happens when the brain runs on too little sleep...

I was mucking about in a casual game (as the two lovely gentlemen on our roof made it impossible to concentrate on anything) and it got me thinking about the modern pronunciation of 'thermometer'.

It's a meter to measure heat, so at what point did 'thermo - meter' become the single word 'thermometer'?

New IQ is up!!

We've been working on a new look for the Filmmaker IQ website, full of tasty new features and other fun stuff!

Man, I'm glad it's launched.

http://filmmakeriq.com/