Saturday, April 28, 2012

Best Spam Ever


So Tupac is totally offering complimentary psychic readings.  This is the only part of the picture that would copy from the email.

Boyfriend gets the most awesome spam.  He tells me that Tupac is offering free psychic readings - which is especially cool because he's like dead and stuff, so he'd TOTALLY have the DL on that whole afterlife connection thing. Right?

And the first one is FREE  - I'm not sure how that works.  What sort of currency do the dead use, anyway? The email was pretty vague on the details.  Like vampires would probably take blood, zombies brains, but the message was very unclear about what souls would use.

Me:  OMG - we can finally find out who really shot Biggie Smalls!

Boyfriend: ...

Me: You should do it! It's like one free question.  And look at the little glowing souls in black misty tulips! That's how you know it's totally legit.

Boyfriend: Except it's not really Tupac.

Me: (looking over) Wait.  That's a white dude.  With a beard.

Boyfriend: And he spells his name with a 'k'.

Me: I bet he's not really dead.

Boyfriend: Probably not.

Me:  He probably never rapped a day in his life.

Boyfriend: (Who is now playing video games and pretty much ignoring me.) 'Hmmm?'

Me:  I bet this is a total rip off.  Even for free.  I was totally going to pay in blood or fingernails or whatever it is that souls use as currency, but I think this guy is alive.  That's not interesting at all.

Then I asked him to forward the spam so I could share it.  I never get cool spam like this.  Lots of stuff for longer erections and a bigger penis.  Sometimes I reply.  According to Boyfriend, I have really big balls anyway, and don't really need help getting them any bigger.

What I don't have is the direct line to the soul of Tupac.  Blast you, spam.  Denied again.


  1. HA! That was great, chica.

  2. Thanks! I think I do funny better when I'm not actually thinking about it. If I think too much, it comes across as erudite and over written.

    Net humor almost seems more effective when written by a kitten on crack.