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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Bad writing from Weeping Cock

I admit it.  I wouldn't actually buy any of this stuff (Atlanta Nights being the obvious exception - intent rules) but I'm hooked on it.

It all started with The Eye of Argon.  Merely lousy writing turns me off; this was the first time I had encountered work so mind bendingly awful and nonsensical that it became funny.  Really, lough out loud funny.

Most of the writing that I read is beta for aspiring writers - and the 'bad' tends to be not understanding the fine points of fiction - well developed characters, the art of 'showing', passive sentences, that sort of thing.  Occasionally, there's an obtuse metaphor that's mildly amusing - but mostly there's only funny by way of intent.

Rarely is something posted on a pro message board that is so astoundingly terrible that there's nothing you can do but laugh.  Since that's my base, I thought it was rare.

HA.  Apparently there are thousands upon thousands of writers who care not a whit for the basics of grammar, spelling, story structure, or logic.  They aspire to heights of bad writing that the mere mortal can only dream about(after a night of cheap beer and bad fish).

Now, there are some places that make this an art form, such as the Bulwer - Lytton competitions.  There, like in the infamous Atlanta Nights, good writers use all of that skill and learning for evil, to create some of the worst opening lines and poetry ever.  I get a kick out of those for a different reason - you can see what rules they are flagrantly abusing, and to what end. Fun stuff.

What I'm talking about right now, is the unintentionally bad. Prose so poorly spelled, obtuse, or just plain illogical that it makes your brain twitch.  Echoes abound, eyes roll from people's heads, poses are anatomically impossible.

Trying to write erotica this way is even better.  In my opinion, writing erotica well is one of the more difficult things to do - how to make a sex scene 'hot', without being silly, or grotesque.

These examples fail on such an epic level, that many of them turn around and become involuntary comic masterpieces.  Others, are just head bangingly awful, with zero merit in any way, shape, or form.

Thank you, thank you, to whomever created this blog, for putting the best of the worst all in one place for crazy people like me who get a kick out of reading them.

http://community.livejournal.com/weepingcock

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