Tuesday, April 20, 2010

How NOT to market yourself - Lessons from Robert Stanek

Just when you thought you'd seen it all...

So, you've been barred by those evil, elite, snotty commercial publishers that don't recognize your brilliance.

Rather than growing a clue right about there - you decide to self publish your 'epic' fantasy series. Okay, whatever you need to do to feel better...

I've heard of people putting up fake five star reviews on Amazon. How about over 200 of them?

What about claiming having won awards that don't exist? (While I've heard of that too, the sheer number this numbskull professes to blows my mind.)

You've become a legend in your own mind...what could possibly go wrong?

The wrong starts when real people get duped into buying your juvenile, unedited pile o' crap because they believed that you were an honest person, and wouldn't stoop to such bone - headed and underhanded marketing methods.

They came, they read, and now, any potential audience you may have had is PISSED. They're panning your work all over the 'net, warning off other targets.

People self publish crap all the time, no big deal. The biggie is lying about it. A bigger one is pretending to be 200 other people and lying about THAT.

Were it not for this shitstorm of audacity, this book would have died a quiet death, like its thousands of self published brethren. Many of those writers do go on to write something commercially viable - but you sir, have proven yourself unworthy of that goal.

You can't be trusted to turn in your own work, no matter how shoddy it may be.

For those of you who are interested in seeing just how bad this steaming pile is:


Things like this make it really hard to buy that line about the 'evil, elitist barrier' in publishing. If 'evil' means correct word usage, and 'elitist' means proper grammar, I'm all for it. Honestly guys, if you're not getting a response, it might be time to take a look at the work. You don't want to be like this guy.


  1. Here's the irony: maybe if this guy had spent all his time and energy improving his craft, learning the basic tools of the trade, he might have been commercially viable. Instead, he's just another PSA against self-published novels.
    What a dickhead.

  2. Absolutely. Self publishing a novel (not anything, just a novel) is generally a bad idea.

    Behavior like this makes it a cautionary tale.

    So you self pubbed. Whatever. Just don't lie about it.

    The other thing is - this work is pretty representative of the quality of self pubbed work. (And every single person who's done it is thinking 'except mine'. Sigh.)

    I'm not saying the road to publication isn't paved with rejections, even for great writers. I'm saying that if you've sent out over 20 queries and haven't gotten a nibble, you need to look at that query.

    If your pages are constantly given a form rejection, it's time to look at the pages rather than rant about the 'evil' industry.